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Left to My Own Devices

from Also, He Made the Stars​.​.​. by DLDown

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about

Nope, not a cover of that Pet Shop Boys one! Though I do have something of an unexplained soft spot for some of their stuff...

I don’t really know what to write for this one...

I guess it’s a reflection of the fact that whilst I find believing the basics of my faith relatively easy, carrying out the implications of that can be much harder. There’s often that sense of ‘I could/should be doing this better’ or ‘there must be more to it than this’.

Then again, we've got to start somewhere, and to want to want to do something could be the first step towards actually wanting to. Which in turn is a step towards actually doing it. Whatever 'it' is.

As you’ll have gathered, I like complicated or layered parts, so for the drum parts I had to hold myself back from doing anything that didn’t fit the monotonous feel of the song.

lyrics

Staring blankly at these pages:
Am I really blind? Or just tired?
I get the meaning but I can't comprehend
How this applies to my life
I must have read these words a hundred times by now
But inspiration still eludes
My notes stare smugly back at me:
"you'll have got it now - if you've really tried"

Can you reach me?

I'm well meaning
But easily turned aside
My prayers ricochet off the ceiling
Motivation dies
Place my distractions carefully out of reach
But the clock's tick magnifies to fill my mind
Counting down the seconds 'til
I can get on with my life

Can you hear me?

Well I wish I wanted you more than I do now
I want to learn to learn to love you better
But I can't see how or where to begin
I want to want to know you more than I do now
But left to my own devices...
I'll take the distraction anytime

So save me from this apathy - set my heart ablaze
Let the wonders of your story once again amaze

Well I wish I wanted you more than I do now
I want to learn to learn to love you better
But I can't see how or where to begin
I want to want to know you more than I do now
But left to my own devices...
I'll take the distraction anytime

credits

from Also, He Made the Stars​.​.​., released October 24, 2009
lyrics & music © 2009 Jo Wilson

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